Letters

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here
S.M. Stevenson finds himself in a crisis when he follows a demented guide to the lower circles of the internet

It’s difficult to say without sounding cheesy, but I think of life as a series of incredibly complicated chess matches, in that when dealing with people, an awkward, overly analytical person, like myself, must always be thinking a few steps ahead. Where is this leading? How will he/she respond to this? How do I put it? What is he/she thinking now? What can I do to manipulate the situation? These are some of the questions that regularly run through my head in my day-to-day interactions, which even I admit is unfortunate, perhaps unnecessary, a bit devious, and ultimately hindering. I enjoy the game, but it does sometimes grow tiresome for everyone involved, in which case the moments of mindless and pointless fun are surely welcome. And for the most part, for me at least, these moments tend to deal with poopy in one way or another.

I came across the perfect example of mindless and pointless fun recently, when I was told about a video, which no doubt some of you have seen or heard of, entitled Two Girls One Cup. In just a minute I will provide a link to the video but not before I can lay down a proper warning. First of all, let me say that I watched no more than, I don’t know, ten seconds of the video, and I strongly urge you not to watch it. That said, I would like to add that viewing the clip does seem to be some rite of passage, but you have to decide whether or not you want to be on the other side of this milestone.
Since its vivid description did not prepare me in the least, I will forego relating any of the details concerning the shit and the puke and the eating of the shit and the puke, and simply get to the point: These girls know how to have fun. They appear completely relaxed, with not a hint of self-consciousness, and are just rolling with it. I guarantee these girls aren’t carefully scheming their next move or wondering if they have something stuck in their teeth. Good old-fashioned fun. Just give these girls a time, a place, and a cup, (as well as a camera and the ability to upload videos onto the internet), and they’ll show you a good time.

Before you click on the link below, I would search the internet for Two Girls One Cup Reactions, which can give you some idea of the horror. And one last appeal to your better judgment, I think there might be some nudity, at least in the beginning, so don’t watch if breasts offend you.
If you are still compelled to watch, here you go you sick bastard—Two Girls One Cup

Did you throw up or dry heave a bit?
Check mate.

SMS