Dear Eva,
I am a 36 year-old man from New York. I am a managing editor at a small fashion trade magazine geared toward young Wall Street types. I am currently in a relationship, three years this February, with the most beautiful woman I have ever met. But I have one major problem…like the majority of people in New York, I moved to the Big Apple hoping to become an actor, and though I have found success more readily in other areas, the drama bug has never left my system. Recently, my manager suggested I do a commercial but he would not tell me what it was for until I met the people behind the product. “Keep an open mind,” he told me, “this could lead to bigger opportunites.” When I sat down with the producers of the commercial they told me that it was an advertisement for a male enhancement pill, you know, the kind of pill that runs late at night promising to increase the size of a certain male organ. So I guess my problem is, after their pitch, I’m tempted by the offer. I assume I won’t get an opportunity like this again: a sit down with important producers, the chance to be the face of a product on televsion, etc. To be perfectly honest, I know it’s not a dream role, but I’m getting older, jobs are few and far between, and it’s now or never. I studied at the Method Acting Studio in London while at graduate school in London, and the idea of my researching and delving into the role actually gets my girlfriend excited. I am also interested to see if it really works. These are all the benefits of the role, but at what cost? I hold a respectable position at an esteemed publication, so how do I face my staff, my investors, and my readers after they’ve seen me endorsing a male enhancement product? I just think it would all be a little embarrassing. I want to be recognized, but not for something like this. And what if it leads to nothing else? What do you think I should do? By the way, I definitely don’t need the pill in the first place.
-Extenzive Researcher
Extenzive Researcher,
I really wish you hadn’t written to me, or I wish that you weren’t the only one who wrote to me, or I wish that I weren’t so judgmental. Honestly, I don’t know what to answer, but I will try to be as nice as possible.
First of all, let me start by saying it takes all kinds, meaning this is a world that celebrates everyone from Jesus Christ to Adolf Hitler to Paris Hilton (Hitler being the intermediate on the spectrum of good to evil). Jesus Christ, I could’ve written “Jesus, Hitler, and Paris” there and 33% of the 6 billion people on this earth would ask “Who’s Jesus/Hitler/Paris?” equally. All on a first name basis. What I’m trying to say is that there is no room for indecision. If you do something, whether ground-breaking or tacky, with encouragement or opposition, you have to go all out. I’m wanting to say grow a pair and maybe these pills will help you do just that.
Second of all, if I were in your position I wouldn’t take the role, but that’s me. I’m a woman and it may be different for a guy, but it all sounds really pathetic. Maybe I should’ve just started out with that.
-Eva
