10 Things You Don’t Know About Me
by Hugh Hefner
- Waking up next to a couple beautiful blondes with big tits isn’t always as good as it sounds. They can say some pretty stupid things. Sometimes I wish I could just wake up alone, eat some breakfast, and read the paper in silence.
- Boxers or Briefs? Neither. When I’m not wearing Depends I free-ball.
- I’m the one sending you those emails about great Viagra deals. They’re not spam, they’re opportunities for a brighter tomorrow.
- I saw Cats over 40 times on both Broadway and the West End. I enjoyed it 90% of the time.
- I love the suggestions on the side of the Ritz box. I find them very helpful, though now I usually just have them mashed up into crumbs and spray a little Cheez Wiz into my mouth.
- My favorite movie of all time is What About Bob? I’m not asking you, the question mark is in the title.
- My mother was one of the principal investors of Playboy and she never once regretted it.
- I’ve had to defend myself constantly over the years, but my greatest struggle was against Chyna when I told her I did not want her posing for Playboy and she tried to powerbomb me.
- I consider myself 81 years young.
- If I could do it all over again I would only change one thing…I wouldn’t have been involved in that orgy with Hasselhoff. He has some issues. Other than that, I’m living the dream.
SR
